Our realtor

So. We have a realtor. His name is Martin. He is much nicer than our first realtor. The first day we met him, Martin showed up in an argyle sweater. I knew we were meant to work together after that. He treats me like I'm his daughter, but in a benevolent "I want what is best for you" way, not in a patronizing way. One of the best things about Martin is his last name. Continuing in the vein of not wanting to be sued by angry homeowners, whose real estate listings I may be saying unkind things about in the near future, I'll not give you his real last name.

Say Hi to Martin, everyone!

But you know that Austin Powers movie? With Felicity "Shagwell by name, Shag-very-well by reputation"... yeah... it's a name like that. Kring-hard.  But replace that first "R" with an "L" ... yeah. Kringhard by name, Kring very hard by reputation. I think it would make an excellent last name for a male role in some sort of tawdry movie.... Rock Kringhard, or Buck Kringhard, or something like that. Yeaaah. Anyway, here's to Martin! We'll be seeing him next on Monday.

Horror movie

So, when I'm in a house, and JJ and the realtor are droning on to each other about how great the garage is (even though the rest of the house is a lime green wallpapered hole), sometimes I like to think about movies... and how there are so many horror movies that begin with an optimistic young couple starting out in their first house....

and then....

strange things start happening... one might say.... paranormal activities....

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN......

I think something important to consider is will there be super murdery evil spirits haunting the house? Does the house have that feeling? Is it TOO historic?

Also, something I've long wondered is why, when shit starts moving around on its own, you wouldn't just put the house on the market, prominently describing its "historic charm," and GET THE HELL OUT.

Seriously people, don't try to videotape evil. The evil will win.

We are going to see two more houses on Monday. I'll let you know how it goes.

Welcome!

So, JJ and I are looking for a house. We don't have a set-in-stone timeline for buying, we're just trying to get familiar with the different neighborhoods and areas of Noogville right now. We've been to 6 or 7 houses so far, and I've noticed something rather amusing. Although the vast majority of houses look pretty similar in the online profiles (somewhere in the mediocre to fairly decent range), the realities of what you actually find when you go into the houses can be radically different. So now, for your reading pleasure, I will chronicle the rest of our house looking/buying adventure.

I won't be too specific, because I don't want to get sued.

So far, a few of the exciting real estate nuggets have included:

* a used condom on the ground outside a house. I accidentally stepped on it. vomit.
* a basement straight out of austin powers, including orange shag carpeting... it was totally the kind of place a teenager could get to second base in
* a charming craftsman bungalow with a sink  and a bathtub in the unfinished basement.... actually it wasn't a bathtub so much as severe flooding
* belligerent homeowners, so angry about being foreclosed upon that they took the garbage disposal out of the kitchen sink when they left
* a bathroom so artfully photographed that you couldn't tell that the only finished part of the tile job was the section in the photo....

Oh yes, I can already tell that it is going to be a fabulous journey. There will be pictures and commentary. I know you are all so excited for this adventure to get underway!